Marriages are like remote controls. Sometimes everything just works. Other times you need to hit some points to keep things moving. Sometimes you’ve tried to push, hit, think it through, but nothing moves. They’ve been working on it, but it’s just not enough. But divorce comes with its own set of challenges.
The constant barrage of unsolicited advice on how to save yourself from the eternal doom of divorce can be annoying. Marriages are tough. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. Doesn’t make you any less human. Maybe more of that.
Celebs are no strangers to failed marriages, alleged entanglements, under-the-table agreements and consensual swinging. As far as Hollywood is concerned, divorce is very common, with a rate of up to 52%, as statistically analyzed in this Medium article.
Let’s take a look at celebrity marriages that were shorter than my phone battery:
Britney Spears & Jason Alexander: 55 Hours
55 hours, that must be a joke. Or a Vegas whim. What it was. Britney married her childhood friend Jason Alexander in 2004 at A Little White Wedding Chapel in Vegas. The cancellation came early after a record-breaking 55 hours. Without a doubt, the shortest wedding in Hollywood history. Now that she was just married to Sam Asghari, Jason crashed their marriage and is now locked up. Ex-boyfriends deserve a special, pre-booked spot in Hell.
Cher & Gregg Allman: 9 Days
Pop goddess and feminist icon Cher had a short-lived marriage (10 days) to Allman Brothers frontman Gregg Allman in 1975. To no one’s surprise, Vegas was where the wedding took place. There’s something in the air. Or water. Pretty sure there’s a steady stream of vodka pouring out of the taps.
Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries: 72 days
Kimberly’s fresh divorce from now ex-husband Kanye was a social media war waged by Pete (or should I say Skete?) and Ye Stans. But her second marriage to Kris Humphries was nothing short of a media spectacle, and if rumors are to be believed, reports suggest said marriage was a publicity stunt. Interesting.
Pamela Anderson & Rick Salomon: 2 months
Baywatch star Pamela and Rick Salomon tied the knot in 2007’s Drum Roll Please: Vegas!! It was Anderson who filed for divorce over irreconcilable differences. They remarried (why?) in 2014 and divorced in “Nevada” that same year, citing cheating as the reason. A key message of this article is that I never enter this state. NO WAY.
Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth: 8 months
After living in an on-off relationship for a decade, Miley and Liam tied the knot in December 2018, only to divorce in August of next year. Cyrus later explained that the marriage was a bloody disaster and the end was inevitable. This one really hurt.
We’ve also written about iconic and controversial moments at Koffee With Karan. Click here to read.